Sucks To Be Me
by Creamy Coffee
Summary: "My life is hell. Do I need to say more?"  Leah's POV. T for language.


**Author's Note: **Hello everyone. I found this today while I was searching through my stuff, and I guess I never got around to finishing it. I know this chapter's really short, but I hope you enjoy it. I would love to hear everyone's opinions on it... whether I should it continue or not... what I could improve in the future... just please REVIEW! I'll probably scrap it or keep it depending on the overall reaction. Forgive me for any grammar mistakes (or just plain bad writing) while you're reading. After all, it has been a while since I've written this. Okay, I think I've rambled on enough. Thanks in advance.

**Disclaimer: **Twilight is Stephenie Meyer's work, and none of it is mine. :)

**I.**

**Aftermath: Part One**

Pain…

my only companion on the messed up journey I'm going on.

It doesn't seem fair. Why does everyone get their goddamn fairytale happy ending _except_ me? Mom has always said that I'm unlucky, but you would think that I'd get lucky every once in a while. Right?_ No_. Let's look at the facts: 1) my boyfriend practically cheated on me 2) everyone hates me 3) I'm officially known as _Leah the Bitch_. Whoever said 'life is beautiful' is just full of shit. Whenever I hear that kind of stuff from Mom, it makes me sick. Life is nothing but a torture trip that only ends when you finally die and rot to pieces. How can anyone call life _beautiful?_ Just in case you're wondering, the worst part of my life is not being able to make my own decisions. I can't even choose who I fucking fall in love with. Considering my luck, I wouldn't even be surprised if I imprinted on some guy from that retirement home across the street.

Parties have never really been my thing – well, at least not _this _party. A party is a poor excuse for people to get drunk and be obnoxious. I swear, I have seen enough people throwing up for a lifetime. Another reason why I hate parties? _Sam_. It's hard enough avoiding… _him_ without huge get-togethers like this. And am I actually supposed to be happy that Bella Swan's _baby_ (for lack of a better word) survived the onslaught? That freaking baby almost got us killed. It wasn't even our war to begin with! Damn Jacob and his freaky obsession with vampires. Sigh. It's bad enough that I have to endure all of this, but even worse is that I'm being forced to serve Tropical Punch for lovesick couples and whiny children. Sometimes I wonder if Mom's main goal in life is to make me suffer. If so, there's one thing I can say about that: she is doing a terrific job.

"Hey, whiner!" said Embry, walking casually towards me.

"Hi, brat," I replied dryly, "Did you come over here to insult me or what?"

"I've got better things to do," he laughed, "So, how've you been doing?"

"You're asking _me_?" I asked in mock surprise, "Why I remember you saying I was a pain in the ass only a couple of days ago."

"I can't help myself," said Embry, "I can only tell the truth."

Embry sat down next to me, placing a hand around my shoulders. I tried to shrug him off, but that only succeeded in making him smirk nastily. He stole a cup of Tropical Punch from me and threw it down in one gulp. He then turned to me and studied my face for a long time as I did his. I could only imagine what he saw – a horrible mess of droopy skin and wrinkles. I have to admit that I hadn't been washing very often in the past few days. I had spent most of my time running around as a wolf in the forest, trying to forget the human world for as long as I could. I stared at my fingernails and found them to be filled with dirt. Not to mention that they looked diseased and rotting. Well, he couldn't laugh at me. After all, he was wearing _lip gloss_. _Sparkling lip gloss _for heaven's sake!

"You don't look too good, Leah," he said, frowning, "You should loosen up – today's meant to be a night of celebration."

Celebration, my ass.

"It depends on which side you're on," I said stiffly, "and I can tell you one thing – I am definitely against those _bloodsuckers_. They've been nothing but trouble ever since they got here."

"Leah, it's not just that," he sighed, "you've been really out of it lately, and Sam's getting really worried…"

"_SAM_?" I snapped angrily, "Oh great! What are you, his slave now? Go and tell him to mind his own damn business!"

"Hey, calm down!" he said, a look of surprise on his face, "I'm not here on an errand or a job. I came because everyone's worried about you including me. They may not have the courage to say it to your face, but I do. As hard as it is for you, it's not exactly easy for us to watch you suffer every day. I can't continue watching you mope around because of one stupid guy."

I glared daggers at Embry, making it clear that I did _not _agree with him in any way whatsoever. How would he know what I was going through? He didn't even know the first thing about a relationship. Oh, I've been through his sick mind. In his mind, a relationship is not based on love but um… let's just say _physical contact_. Think about it. Sucking the life out of other people's faces for the sake of fun isn't exactly what constitutes a serious relationship. Besides, he hasn't been near a girl in a while because of the whole war that's been going on. That is, unless you count me, Bella Swan, and old women. And I don't.

"I don't need to hear this shit from you," I muttered, "I am not _moping _around, and I am _so over_ him. Got it? Now, leave me alone."

"No need to be in denial," he sighed, "Look, Leah. I know you're angry about this whole thing, but would you lighten up? None of us can even laugh with you around. Believe it or not, I actually used to know you when you and Sam were together, and I know that you were a hell of a better person to hang around with then."

…

"You don't get it, Embry," I said quietly, "Every morning I have to wake up and remind myself that my life is a mess. I've lost everything because of those damn bloodsuckers. If I lived in a normal world, I wouldn't be like this. I would still be with… him. And it doesn't help that I have to wait until I imprint on some toddler or murderer or who knows what with my luck."

"I'm worried about that too," he whispered, looking away, "You and I are the only ones who haven't imprinted, and the thing is… I don't want to."

"Why? Do you want to mess around with more girls?" I asked sarcastically, "I think you've broken enough girls' hearts, Embry. It's time to give it a rest and take a serious look at your life."

"It's not about that," said Embry, irritated, "I just don't get why I can't control who I love and who I marry when I grow older. Why do I have to be manipulated by some freaky wolf instinct? It scares me shitless that I'm going to be running around like an idiot after a girl who I've never met in my life. That's not what I want for myself."

"Welcome to my world," I laughed bitterly, "Things never go my way. I've learned to deal with it. There's nothing you can do to change it."

"But there's a possibility…"

"A possibility of what?"

"There's a possibility that we may never imprint."

I looked at Embry skeptically. Of course, similar thoughts had run through my head many times before. As soon as I had considered them for a few seconds, I had given them up. The others had such thoughts themselves before they had imprinted. They had believed that they would never fall prey to imprinting like… _Sam _had done, but it didn't take long for them to become mindless slaves to a bunch of kindergartners and hormonal teenagers. The legends turned out to be true, and it was inevitable that Embry and I would be the next targets.

"Get real, Embry," I grunted, "You're acting like you haven't seen what the others have gone through. Need I remind you of what I found Jared and Kim doing on the beach last Tuesday?"

"I know it sounds crazy, but the legends never said that all wolves imprinted," said Embry almost pleadingly, "In fact, some of them said that certain wolves married for love."

"Yeah, for them, imprinting was love," I snorted, "Maybe they didn't even know they had imprinted, because they were some of the first to do so."

"Why don't you want to believe that there's a chance that we might not have to imprint on someone?" asked Embry angrily, "I thought you of all people would agree with me after all that imprinting has done to you."

"I…" I stopped short. He was right. I wanted to believe, but I couldn't. I couldn't let myself be disappointed again after being disappointed time and time again. Disappointed by my ex-fiancé, by my younger brother, by my temporary-wolf-pack-leader… I couldn't take any more of it.

"...Who wouldn't want to believe, Embry?"

Silence.

Embry stared at me, his eyes sparkling with sympathy and understanding.

"I'm sorry."

"Nice to hear someone say that for once."

"Well, people can't help being idiots a lot of the time. You have to learn to forgive them."

"There are some people I can never forgive."

"Maybe… but you've got to open up, Leah."

…

"Whatever," I said as I poured more Tropical Punch to distract myself, "Thanks for coming over and crap, but I'm gonna need you to go now. I'm busy."

"Sure you are," laughed Embry, "I guess I'll see you later then. Remember you can talk to me whenever you want."

"Okay, fine."

I watched in silence as he walked away. Talk to him? In a million years, maybe. Why would I want to talk to girl loving, lip gloss wearing Embry?

"Hey LEEEEEEAH!"

Jacob skipped towards my Tropical Punch stand with his hand in _his darling Renesmee's_. It took all of my strength to keep myself from puking.

"Why don't you get _meeeee and Renesmeeeeee _some cups of punch?"

Then again, speaking with Embry was probably a whole less irritating than talking to this prick.


End file.
